When a relationship that is important to us ends, it’s difficult on many levels. This is true even you’re the one who initiated it. You’re now facing the world alone. If you didn’t initiate the breakup, it can be even harder. You may not have even seen it coming, and you feel a great sense of rejection.. Whatever happened, there are several things you can do to help ease the pain.
Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions you’re experiencing. Your feelings may range and fluctuate between hurt, sadness, disappointment, or anger. Trying to fight off your feelings and “get on with it” will not work.Yes, you are bruised, and this is a time to be caring and nurturing to yourself. Yes, it is the time for treats and a few indulgences.
Give yourself permission to count on others. Having someone (or several people) with whom you feel safe to be yourself during this healing period will be very comforting. Support will be most valuable if you let them know how you’d like to be taken care of. You may want them to. just listen or get you out of the house or offer their insights. Let them know what you need.
Use visualizations to release feelings. Use your imagination to convey feelings you’d like to express to the person who is no longer your partner. But keep it imaginary. Real conflict will not make you feel better.
Try free association writing. Another tool to release emotions is to write as fast as you can about how you are feeling. This type of expressive writing helps to purge emotions.
Write down what you didn’t like about your ex-partner. No one is perfect nor is any relationship. Create a list of the things you didn’t like. Keep this list with you and when you’re feeling down, take it out to remind you of what wasn’t good between the two of you.
Clear those garbage thoughts.Too often, you may find yourself saying very negative things about the way you have acted or behaved or about your looks and personality. Start to be aware of your negative, demeaning thoughts and try to banish them.
Make a list of your attributes. Since you’re likely to be feeling down on yourself as a result of the breakup, remind yourself of all that is positive about you.
Though it may be hard to imagine that the pain you feel now will ever subside, it will. Using some of these tips to rid yourself of your hurt feelings and feel more positive about yourself will make dealing with a breakup go a lot smoother.
About the author: Dr. Karen Sherman helps people connect to their fullest potential. Her website is Karen Sherman
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